Band 7 IELTS sample essay

The below essay is written by a Student

Dieting can change a person’s life for better or ruin one’s health completely. Identify some of the problems associated with dieting and offer some solutions.

Dieting can either improve or entirely damage one’s health. Although there are significant benefits of dieting, there are detrimental effects of it on individual’s health which could be avoided. Fine: clear and concise

There are a variety of reasons why dieting could sometimes be catastrophic. The first valid reason for this problem is an imbalanced diet. This becomes evident when we discuss the eating disorders of people who do not seek professional help. Getting started on ^ starvation diet, or crash diet can be a powerful weight loss and detox tool if used correctly, otherwise it can possibly result in serious health consequences. A valid illustration of this would be by getting started on ^ Atkins diet one should not be depriving their body of carbohydrates, as in the long run it can have badUse a better word, variety is key here effects on the brain. Other circumstances include, taking excessive amount of diet pills to counteract weight gain. For, majority of these pills contain caffeine and guarana. Where is the main verb? Not a sentence.Their side effects include, but are not limited to; anxiety, nausea, rapid heart rate, kidney trouble, digestive problems, infertility, immune system’s disorders.  This is well supported paragraph but, as always, your writing is unpolished and inconsistent, Check your work before sending it.  

There is probably no one solution to ensure a balanced diet, because what the body can get rid of, it can put it right back on. A possible solution to overcome malnutrition and maintain good eating habits would be to take an adequate amount of protein and vitamins from alternate sources. This situation, for instance, can be exemplified by eating fish meat instead of beef. A more beneficial approach would be counselling a dietitian. Spelling: dietician Moreover, government can play a pivotal role to educate people to be cautious about over usage or misuse of diet pills. In addition, it can also pressurize dieting pills manufacturers to limit their exaggerative advertisements.

More generally it seems hard to deny that inappropriate dieting can be dangerous for health, comma not semicolon however, the best way to make any long term change is to do something that they finds Subject verb agreement It enjoyable, word form and not seeing  word form it as restrictive and punishment  word form on themselves. Thus, a good idea would be to adopt a healthy lifestyle ^ than jeopardizing their lives.

Teacher’s Remarks

Overall, you have written a well supported and clearly organized essay; however, you continue to be inconsistent which weakens the impact of your writing. Strive for clarity and accuracy and ALWAYS check your work before submitting it. You have the ability to achieve a high score in the writing component of the test, but you need to be more vigilant in terms of consistency.